If after a long, challenging day at work, struggling over your children’s homework is not one of your top five things, then the Omaha Public Library’s free tutoring program is for you!
Read more at: http://www.examiner.com/x-7116-Omaha-Working-Moms-Examiner
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Monday, March 2, 2009
Which category best fits you?
The Helicopter Mommy
We’ve all seen them. At the Children’s Museum, the zoo, the local park or even the dreaded in-door play area. You know the one I mean. The Mommy who can’t quite find the inner courage to let little 3 year-old Matilda or (no-so-little) 5 year-old Maximillian play in peace. Nope, these Super Mommy’s have the fortitude to constantly be available to their little passengers for never-ending entertainment, direction, supervision and air cover. It is a little known fact that if a Helicopter Mommy is not with-in the mandatory one arm’s reach away from their child, or stops hovering for more than one chorus of Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes, their child will be: a) abducted by leprechauns, or b) mistaken for a hydrangea bush by a swarm of honey bees.
The Stealth Mommy
This rare category of Mommy is often confused with the Cargo Mommy: Coach (See below). The Stealth Mommy is rarely seen, unless she has immediate need to interfere with her passengers. The favorite pre-flight question asked by a Stealth Mommy is, “Is anything bleeding or broken?” Passengers of a Stealth Mommy are not often aware the she is in the fly zone, until someone tries to stick his brother’s head in the toilet, then BAM! Stealth Mommy arrives to end the madness with a swift wing. Stealth Mommies are also know for snooping through their teenage daughter’s room, reading their son’s text messages, and calling to confirm take-off and landing schedules of family members.
Corporate Jet Mommy
The Corporate Jet Mommy is not to be confused with the 777 Mommy. A Corporate Jet Mommy looks good in the hanger, but they rarely take off and require much upkeep and maintenance. You can spot this perfectly coifed Mommy by her mani/pedi detailing, latest fashions accessorizes, and Coach hand bag. Often, three or four Corporate Jet Mommies will be spotted together, usually with a half-cap latte, conversing and comparing other’s flight patterns, hangers, or maintenance, while their own children run amuck within a 25 yard radius, trashing the airport. This very important Mommy Class is critical to the Commercial Flight Mommies well being and pocket book, due to the frequency of transfers of passengers.
Commercial Flight Mommy
The Commercial Flight Mommy comes in two categories, the Nanny Flight (NF) and the Day Care Flight (DCF). Both the NF and DCF are critical to the Corporate Jet and 777 Mommies. These unselfish (or desperate for money) flights are often seen with multiple passengers ranging from 2 weeks to 8 years in age. They can been spotted from a 10 foot distance by either the look of terror, seen only on the face of a woman with five or more children, a forced smile, or large brown circles under their eyes and a little extra junk in her trunk. Most Commercial Mommies are suitable for flight; however, it is recommended to contact the TSA for flight history and patterns.
Cargo Mommy: First Class
A.k.a: baby on board. These Baby Born loving Mommies live to emulate those marsupials down under. For the Cargo Mommy, there is no better place for their precious little passengers than hitching a free ride, whether it be in front, on back, to the side, (or down low) wherever they go. You will see these Mommies transporting their little ones directly from the car seat, to the sling, to the boob. Many Cargo Mommies find themselves in need of an intervention by parallel flights, due to the Cargo Gene developing into the sensational need to make their own baby food, clean with only organically safe products, and miss scheduled appointments for routine check-ups and maintenance.
Cargo Mommy: Business Class
If these Mommies had a tag line it would read, “I’m in the business of mothering.” Or “If you need it, I have it… in my bag.” This Cargo Mommy would lose her license if she were to leave home without Band-Aids, tissue, Benadryl, hand sanitizer, books, toys, blankets, binky, fresh socks and panties, water bottle, baby bottle, M&M’s, checkbook, Joe Shrugs CD, cell phone, Barney, Neosporin, wipes, rattle, gold fish, tampons, plastic spoons, doggy treats, snow chains, over-sized double stroller or her passengers (which incidentally can be found behind the extra-large Land’s End monogrammed bag and fifteen coats). Every Plane group should have at least one Cargo Mommy: Business Class in their group, due to their usefulness (and it saves all the others from having to carry all that crap around).
Cargo Mommy: Coach
This Class of Cargo Mommy (often confused with the Stealth Mommy) is the most laid back of all the Mommies. In the Coach class, passengers will not only pay for their own beverage service, but they’ll be getting it themselves, thank you very much! Passengers of the Cargo Coach Mommy can be lucky if the plane slows down before they are evicted from the cabin. The hanger of the Cargo Coach can often be cluttered, messy and downright filthy, due to the inability of the Cargo Coach Mommy to clean up after herself or her family.
Prop Plane Mommy
The Prop Plane Mommy logs more hours in the cockpit than any other class of Mommy. Whether it is soccer, gymnastics, basketball, swim team, karate, pottery, bowling or thumb wrestling, this Mommy is going places, and usually with 4-6 other Passengers. The Prop Plane Mommy is well versed in multitasking and driving, proving her death defying skills on a daily basis. You will often see this Mommy eating, turning down the radio, yelling at the third row passengers, and applying lip gloss, all while going 110 miles per hour to make the next landing time.
Concord Mommy
You can easily spot a Concord Mommy by the plastered ‘My kid is better than your kid,’ stickers on her Volvo. It’s nothing but the best for the Concord Mommy and her little Passengers! You can see a Concord Mommy in the making during her takeoff pattern. Often, this fickle Mommy subjects her passengers to the three M’s: Mozart, Montessori, and Marzipan. Concord Mommies are usually highly educated, and may have been formally a 777, but after her pride and joy was God Sent onto this earth, the Concord Mommy lives for no one but her little passengers. Incidentally, most Concord Mommies are single parents, or will be when her child leaves home for college, and her husband leaves her for lack of attention, and her precious child forgets to call on Mother’s Day because he is so self-involved.
Spaceship Mommy
Houston, we have a problem. This Spacey Mommy often isn’t quite aware she has children because her head is so far in the clouds. This permissive Mommy believes her passengers need space and room to grow, without being told what to do or having rules to follow. You can spot these Mommies by their long, floor length skirts, hemp tee-shirts, tie-died super slouch bag, and unkempt hair. Usually, this Vegan Mommy spends her time in the yoga studio, rather than in the salon chair or at the make-up counter. Many passengers of the Spaceship Mommy rebel by going to Harvard and becoming stock brokers.
The 777 Mommy
The 777 Mommy is the “do-it-all” and most common in all the Mommy World. You will never see her sitting still, unless she is forced to sit through one of her Passenger’s recitals or school programs. This 777 runs on empty, refuels on half-cap vanilla lattes, and never has time for herself. She is the cookie Mom, Room Mom, best friend, full-time, part-time, and SAHM Mom. The 777 cleans, cooks, births, sews, volunteers, laughs, cries, walks the dog, waters the flowers, does the dishes and barely has time to bathe. The 777 Mommy, makes all the other Mommies jealous with her propensity to get it all in. However, the 777 Mommy’s flight pattern is short lived and needs constant self-reassuring that she is indeed, “doing the right thing.” The 777 Mommy often compares herself to all the other planes and wonders if she can indeed, “Have it all.”
We’ve all seen them. At the Children’s Museum, the zoo, the local park or even the dreaded in-door play area. You know the one I mean. The Mommy who can’t quite find the inner courage to let little 3 year-old Matilda or (no-so-little) 5 year-old Maximillian play in peace. Nope, these Super Mommy’s have the fortitude to constantly be available to their little passengers for never-ending entertainment, direction, supervision and air cover. It is a little known fact that if a Helicopter Mommy is not with-in the mandatory one arm’s reach away from their child, or stops hovering for more than one chorus of Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes, their child will be: a) abducted by leprechauns, or b) mistaken for a hydrangea bush by a swarm of honey bees.
The Stealth Mommy
This rare category of Mommy is often confused with the Cargo Mommy: Coach (See below). The Stealth Mommy is rarely seen, unless she has immediate need to interfere with her passengers. The favorite pre-flight question asked by a Stealth Mommy is, “Is anything bleeding or broken?” Passengers of a Stealth Mommy are not often aware the she is in the fly zone, until someone tries to stick his brother’s head in the toilet, then BAM! Stealth Mommy arrives to end the madness with a swift wing. Stealth Mommies are also know for snooping through their teenage daughter’s room, reading their son’s text messages, and calling to confirm take-off and landing schedules of family members.
Corporate Jet Mommy
The Corporate Jet Mommy is not to be confused with the 777 Mommy. A Corporate Jet Mommy looks good in the hanger, but they rarely take off and require much upkeep and maintenance. You can spot this perfectly coifed Mommy by her mani/pedi detailing, latest fashions accessorizes, and Coach hand bag. Often, three or four Corporate Jet Mommies will be spotted together, usually with a half-cap latte, conversing and comparing other’s flight patterns, hangers, or maintenance, while their own children run amuck within a 25 yard radius, trashing the airport. This very important Mommy Class is critical to the Commercial Flight Mommies well being and pocket book, due to the frequency of transfers of passengers.
Commercial Flight Mommy
The Commercial Flight Mommy comes in two categories, the Nanny Flight (NF) and the Day Care Flight (DCF). Both the NF and DCF are critical to the Corporate Jet and 777 Mommies. These unselfish (or desperate for money) flights are often seen with multiple passengers ranging from 2 weeks to 8 years in age. They can been spotted from a 10 foot distance by either the look of terror, seen only on the face of a woman with five or more children, a forced smile, or large brown circles under their eyes and a little extra junk in her trunk. Most Commercial Mommies are suitable for flight; however, it is recommended to contact the TSA for flight history and patterns.
Cargo Mommy: First Class
A.k.a: baby on board. These Baby Born loving Mommies live to emulate those marsupials down under. For the Cargo Mommy, there is no better place for their precious little passengers than hitching a free ride, whether it be in front, on back, to the side, (or down low) wherever they go. You will see these Mommies transporting their little ones directly from the car seat, to the sling, to the boob. Many Cargo Mommies find themselves in need of an intervention by parallel flights, due to the Cargo Gene developing into the sensational need to make their own baby food, clean with only organically safe products, and miss scheduled appointments for routine check-ups and maintenance.
Cargo Mommy: Business Class
If these Mommies had a tag line it would read, “I’m in the business of mothering.” Or “If you need it, I have it… in my bag.” This Cargo Mommy would lose her license if she were to leave home without Band-Aids, tissue, Benadryl, hand sanitizer, books, toys, blankets, binky, fresh socks and panties, water bottle, baby bottle, M&M’s, checkbook, Joe Shrugs CD, cell phone, Barney, Neosporin, wipes, rattle, gold fish, tampons, plastic spoons, doggy treats, snow chains, over-sized double stroller or her passengers (which incidentally can be found behind the extra-large Land’s End monogrammed bag and fifteen coats). Every Plane group should have at least one Cargo Mommy: Business Class in their group, due to their usefulness (and it saves all the others from having to carry all that crap around).
Cargo Mommy: Coach
This Class of Cargo Mommy (often confused with the Stealth Mommy) is the most laid back of all the Mommies. In the Coach class, passengers will not only pay for their own beverage service, but they’ll be getting it themselves, thank you very much! Passengers of the Cargo Coach Mommy can be lucky if the plane slows down before they are evicted from the cabin. The hanger of the Cargo Coach can often be cluttered, messy and downright filthy, due to the inability of the Cargo Coach Mommy to clean up after herself or her family.
Prop Plane Mommy
The Prop Plane Mommy logs more hours in the cockpit than any other class of Mommy. Whether it is soccer, gymnastics, basketball, swim team, karate, pottery, bowling or thumb wrestling, this Mommy is going places, and usually with 4-6 other Passengers. The Prop Plane Mommy is well versed in multitasking and driving, proving her death defying skills on a daily basis. You will often see this Mommy eating, turning down the radio, yelling at the third row passengers, and applying lip gloss, all while going 110 miles per hour to make the next landing time.
Concord Mommy
You can easily spot a Concord Mommy by the plastered ‘My kid is better than your kid,’ stickers on her Volvo. It’s nothing but the best for the Concord Mommy and her little Passengers! You can see a Concord Mommy in the making during her takeoff pattern. Often, this fickle Mommy subjects her passengers to the three M’s: Mozart, Montessori, and Marzipan. Concord Mommies are usually highly educated, and may have been formally a 777, but after her pride and joy was God Sent onto this earth, the Concord Mommy lives for no one but her little passengers. Incidentally, most Concord Mommies are single parents, or will be when her child leaves home for college, and her husband leaves her for lack of attention, and her precious child forgets to call on Mother’s Day because he is so self-involved.
Spaceship Mommy
Houston, we have a problem. This Spacey Mommy often isn’t quite aware she has children because her head is so far in the clouds. This permissive Mommy believes her passengers need space and room to grow, without being told what to do or having rules to follow. You can spot these Mommies by their long, floor length skirts, hemp tee-shirts, tie-died super slouch bag, and unkempt hair. Usually, this Vegan Mommy spends her time in the yoga studio, rather than in the salon chair or at the make-up counter. Many passengers of the Spaceship Mommy rebel by going to Harvard and becoming stock brokers.
The 777 Mommy
The 777 Mommy is the “do-it-all” and most common in all the Mommy World. You will never see her sitting still, unless she is forced to sit through one of her Passenger’s recitals or school programs. This 777 runs on empty, refuels on half-cap vanilla lattes, and never has time for herself. She is the cookie Mom, Room Mom, best friend, full-time, part-time, and SAHM Mom. The 777 cleans, cooks, births, sews, volunteers, laughs, cries, walks the dog, waters the flowers, does the dishes and barely has time to bathe. The 777 Mommy, makes all the other Mommies jealous with her propensity to get it all in. However, the 777 Mommy’s flight pattern is short lived and needs constant self-reassuring that she is indeed, “doing the right thing.” The 777 Mommy often compares herself to all the other planes and wonders if she can indeed, “Have it all.”
Friday, February 20, 2009
"Replacing Michelle"
At the top right hand corner of Page 17 of the New YorkPost of January 24th, 2009, was a short column entitled "Replacing Michelle" in the National Review"The Week" column.
'Some employees are simply irreplaceable. Take MichelleObama: The University of Chicago Medical center hired her in2002 to run "programs for community relations,neighborhood outreach, volunteer recruitment, staffdiversity and minority contracting." In 2005 thehospital raised her salary from $120,000 to $317,000 -nearly twice what her husband made as a Senator. Oh! Did wemention that her husband had just become a US Senator? Hesure had! And he requested a $1 Million earmark for the UCMedical Center, in fact. Way to network Michelle!
But now that Mrs. Obama has resigned, the hospital says herposition will remain unfilled. How can that be, if the workshe did was vital enough to be worth $317,000?
We can think of only one explanation: Senator RolandBurris's wife wasn't interested.
---The Editors ofNational Review, writing in the Magazine's Feb 9issue.'
'Some employees are simply irreplaceable. Take MichelleObama: The University of Chicago Medical center hired her in2002 to run "programs for community relations,neighborhood outreach, volunteer recruitment, staffdiversity and minority contracting." In 2005 thehospital raised her salary from $120,000 to $317,000 -nearly twice what her husband made as a Senator. Oh! Did wemention that her husband had just become a US Senator? Hesure had! And he requested a $1 Million earmark for the UCMedical Center, in fact. Way to network Michelle!
But now that Mrs. Obama has resigned, the hospital says herposition will remain unfilled. How can that be, if the workshe did was vital enough to be worth $317,000?
We can think of only one explanation: Senator RolandBurris's wife wasn't interested.
---The Editors ofNational Review, writing in the Magazine's Feb 9issue.'
Thursday, February 12, 2009
At home Businesses - are they worth your time?
Many SAHM try out one of the work from home (Direct Marketing) businesses. Each “SAHM based” business claims to be “fun, rewarding and profitable,” but how true is that? What do you know about the Marketing plans from companies like:
Premier Designs
Pampered Chef
Tastefully Simple
Lia Sophia
Tupperware
Avon
Mary Kay
What are your experiences with a Direct Marketing company and what are the start-up costs, back office costs, and stocking fees? How much can you make as a first level seller and is it worth your time?
Is Direct Marketing profitable and worth your time?
Premier Designs
Pampered Chef
Tastefully Simple
Lia Sophia
Tupperware
Avon
Mary Kay
What are your experiences with a Direct Marketing company and what are the start-up costs, back office costs, and stocking fees? How much can you make as a first level seller and is it worth your time?
Is Direct Marketing profitable and worth your time?
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
What's your financial mission statement?
In today's article, I wrote about writing a financial mission statement. What would your's be?
Read more about financial mission statements at:
www.AmieKonwinski.com/budgeting.html
Read more about financial mission statements at:
www.AmieKonwinski.com/budgeting.html
Does Michelle Obama represent you?
Alright, I know The Today Show (and all mainstream media) is in love with President Obama, because he is the second coming and all, but do Working mom’s everywhere really need to be compared to Michelle Obama as “Today’s Woman?”
Look for next month’s Vogue cover, as the new First Lady is posed as the “Everyday working woman.” You know, the everyday working woman with a nanny, cook, driver, and private schools, to assist her in her career.
Yes, I am feeling really connected with her “everydayness.”
Look for next month’s Vogue cover, as the new First Lady is posed as the “Everyday working woman.” You know, the everyday working woman with a nanny, cook, driver, and private schools, to assist her in her career.
Yes, I am feeling really connected with her “everydayness.”
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